am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
