and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
