Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
