Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
