just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
birth control should be required to get into college
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
