We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
