I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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