Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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