omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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