I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
