mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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