You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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