so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
