Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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