wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
