'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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