her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my being single is dangerous.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
