I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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