WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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