one might say we're banned from that church
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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