I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
