now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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