Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
