True but thats because hes a fetus.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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