OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
birth control should be required to get into college
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
