I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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