Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
