Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
