I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I would fuck him just for his dog
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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