Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
