Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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