this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
