Just cropdusted the office
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
