Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
