i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
