kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
