So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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