Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i came on her dog
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
