So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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