I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
