he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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