I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
vagina is talking i cant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
