ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
