I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want her autograph on my taint
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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