Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
