awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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