babies were throwing up all over the place
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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