so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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