you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
