There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
